See? There's one now. Palmetto, probably. I didn't read the brochure.
A posey (posificus Marathonicus), wet with dew.
Killer Bees. See? danger.
They call this a hammock. I call it a deadly jungle path, cause it's more fun that way.
Suzi wasn't afraid to march down the road alone. She's my brave Saltwater Suzi. But wait (background low drum roll) until you see what's going to happen on this road.
Giant leafy things... plotting.
And suddenly - just when you least expect it - an evil horny spider. There were bodies strewn all over. We didn't want to show you that kind of stuff though, we know how sensitive you are.
More danger, but in this case, as we (and you) will learn later, it is not we who are in danger, it is the plants. I'm not going to tell you the name of the plant yet, to build up suspense. Besides, I can't remember. But never fear, there's a sign.
Saltwater Suzi stood on this bridge and looked for mermaids for me - she knows how happy I get when we see mermaids. All she saw were fish. But don't you love her for trying?
Deadly razor sharp leaves. Fingers strewn all over the place. But we didn't show you again because, well, you know.
Suzi, bravely treading down that road unaware of what is lurking off to the side. Look closely, maybe you can see it in this picture.
Nope, this wasn't it. But this is the very deadly prickfinger plant. (Watchoutayou fingerifadalia)
Scott, bravely taking photographs. It may seem like I'm belaboring, but you weren't in there with us. The background music alone would scare the pants off you.
I already told you what this was, I think. You can go back and check if you want. I'll wait right here.
This is the slightly poisonous purple panther butterfly which can disguise itself as the innocent posificus Marathonicus wet with dew.
I don't know what this is but there were three people hiking in front of us, and either they were walking a lot faster or - well, I don't want to say, but I'm pretty sure I heard a burp.
There are still aboriginal types lurking in the jungle - most people don't see them, but as you know if you follow our blog, I am very observing and see things many other people don't see. I hear things, too.
Scott and Suzi stopped to consult the map because we were either lost or somebody built a house in the jungle where we least expected it. I didn't warn them about the danger they were in - I didn't think it prudent for them to make any sudden moves.
All I can tell you about this is -
DON'T EAT THEM.
They are addictive and make you see things that aren't there. I know this from personal experience. They taste good though, but they're a little tough.
The famed Abstract Wallpaper Tree, which, of course, nobody has ever heard of until now. I discovered it. And I get to name it. I'm going to name it after me: Ridiculosum Mischieviocus
There was this house, see, strange that it was right in the middle of the jungle and no one was around.
My brave, but foolish, Suzi just walked right in, apparently never having read her Hansel and Gretel or the one about the Three Bears.
Just two chairs in this one - a Mama chair and a Papa Chair. Neither was just right.
And there was a bed - but I warned Suzi just in time - so she just smoothed out the bedspread and left. She can't help herself - one of the best smoother outers you'll ever meet.
Mysterious containers - what could be in them? I, for one, am not going to find out. There were no warnings in the brochure, but I didn't live to this ripe old age by being foolhardy.
And we continued on down the road - to an ever escalating background of ominous music.
Scott stopped to take a photograph, the background music soared, he turned and started to walk off.
I turned just in time to warn him of his impending doom. Using very exciting italics.
Thanks to my timely warning, Scott dispatched the danger, and the music suddenly changed to something out of a Rocky movie (I think it was #43 - where it goes ta da dummmm ta da dummmm da da da da da da... you remember it.)
Suzi just kept on keeping on - you can see the look of pride glinting in her eye.
What can I say - he's my son!
Now that our danger has passed, remember those endangered plants I told you about earlier?
Here they are again. They look Okay to me and I didn't see anything around that they should be afraid of.
But here's the sign. And I always believe signs. With the notable exceptions of STOP and YIELD.
More picture taking - no more danger. Even the music stopped. Crap.
Another potential mermaid glade - I'll have to come back here again when I have my mermaid glasses with me. (Actually they look suspiciously like rum glasses, I'm told.)
We kept looking for Tarzan, but never found him. Personally, I'd rather see Jane - she had such cute skimpy outfits. Keep watching our blog -someday I'll get you a picture. Until then, just keep imagining girls in cute skimpy outfits. If you want.
Here's our last photo of Scott - I took an awful lot of pictures of Scott while he was taking pictures. But he wasn't doing that here. I think he was watering the flowers, from the expression.
You can see some of his photos here:
and I think you should.
And say "Goodbye"